This pandemic has me quite anxious and stressed. But I think I’ve been coping alright.
Firstly my routine has been shattered. I was laid off from my job and I won’t be volunteering for the foreseeable future. Also the bimonthly Magic the Gathering events I host have had to be cancelled. The future is unpredictable and my routinely duties cease to exist. Without my routine I’m very on edge and I wouldn’t be surprised if I end up in a state of meltdown soon. On the positive side I have no responsibilities outside of the home anymore, so I can just stay home. Fortunately I don’t rely on my job financially, beyond saving up for university.
I think I’ll create a new routine of doing things for my mum. She works in healthcare, so she’s really really stressed already, and I suspect that’ll get worse. I’ll find out what more things I can do for our household. Maybe cleaning and gardening. I could cook more too. I’m going to try my best.
Honestly I’m scared. I don’t know what’s to come. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get a job to save for university this fall. I don’t know what’ll happen regarding university this fall. I don’t know when I’ll see my friends again. I don’t know if things will ever go back to how they were. I don’t know what to expect. And I’m scared for my Nana.
This whole thing is bizarre. I’ve read that no one alive has gone through anything like this. Seeing how people respond has been surprising, like the whole toilet paper thing. It’s so weird seeing so many empty shelves. Stores are weird in general really. People actually give me personal space and don’t act offended when I try to put more distance between them and me. Less people seem to be in the stores where I live too; however, somehow they seem just as excessively loud. Practically everything being closed or cancelled has also been strange. It’s so different.
Despite all of the craziness I think I’ve been handling this alright. I’ve been reading more to distract myself. It’s got me writing in my journal more, which helps me make sense of the world. I’ve been stimming more than normal, even in public, and that’s helped. Also I’ve had my brother to talk with about what’s going on so that’s helped.
I’ll have more time for my next interactive fiction project. The same goes for my ongoing book. I could be productive in this situation.
I hope I don’t sound selfish. I get that my difficulty with lack of routine is insanely minor compared to people actually dying. I get that my 18th birthday not going according to plan isn’t a big deal; I have my family with me and that’s what matters.
Anyway, stay safe everyone. Be cautious.